Grandma's Fruit Cake

So, my grandma Helen makes the best fruitcake on earth. No really, I mean it. I know - I know - Fruitcake is disgusting and is most often the gift that keeps for decades (because it never gets eaten - not to mention it can also be used as a weapon). Not the case with grandma Helen's fruitcake.

Grandma's fruitcake is moist, full of nuts and fruit that you can actually eat. None of those green candied pysudo-fruit-like-plastic-tasting-bits-of-polyester nuggets.


Raisins (and/or craisins), pecans, pineapple bits, marachino cherries - (ok, so what the cherrys are candied and will probably take longer to digest than hubba-bubba-bubble gum)- they're good for you!

Pumpkin based mix (canned pumpkin of course- we won't revisit the earlier pumpkin disaster when I used a REAL freakin' pumpkin ok?). Tons of sugar, eggs and oil. . . You know - all the things that are good for your metabolism and cholesterol levels.


Then the fruitcakes are slathered with orange marmolade after they are baked (grandma usually uses apple butter). Again, pour yourself a tall glass of ice cold milk and grab a fork.


Seriously, if you're gonna blow what ever diet you're pretending to be on... this is worth that first step into the abyss where you keep all of your stretchy pants and other clothing items purchased at Seattle Tent & Awning.


Ohhhh, I ate too much. It hurts!